Overhaul
by Minnerain
Summary: Oneshot, short. People who really shouldn't try to be philisophical attempt to be, Kakashi is unhelpful, and Sakura just wishes Genma would stop talking to Naruto. NaruSasu, SasuNaru.


Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto in any shape or form. I'm on the waiting list.  
Warnings: Shonen-ai, nothing explicit. NaruSasu-ness. Or SasuNaru. Those two together. Comma abuse. Not beta-ed and done in a day, but I really like the ending product. Short. Enjoy!

Fury

* * *

Uchiha Sasuke, Sakura thought savagely, was a dead man.

The chuunin stabbed at her lunch viciously with one hand and rubbed at the dark circle under her eyes with the other. Naruto pushed his chair away an inch, inadvertently drawing Sakura's attention back to him. She raised her head and gestured at the blonde with her chopsticks.

"You," Sakura began, "are going to go find him."

Naruto snapped his eyes away from warily watching her chopsticks in order to shoot her a dark scowl. "Yeah, I'll do just that, because we both know he'll cooperate with me no problem," he snarked. "Sakura, are you kidding me? He'd probably try to beat the shit out of me, leave me bleeding in the street, and then refuse to cooperate with anyone just to spite me!"

Yep, Sakura reaffirmed, he was so gonna die.

She stood up slowly and purposefully from her chair, dropped her chopsticks, and jabbed her index finger in Naruto's face. "Then listen up, blondie," she growled, her tone taking on a dangerous edge. "You are going to go up to that stupid, pretty, arrogant dickhead and tell him to get his ass to me as fast as Uchiha-ly possible, and he'd better hope I'm in a better mood." She whipped her free hand up to gesture wildly at her obviously exhausted appearance. "I have enough problems of my own, adding his is affecting my health. Now go!" Sakura pointed to the door, "Tell him it's his problem to fix. Now I'm going to sleep."

Even though she'd never seen Naruto run out her apartment that fast, she still caught his parting grumble, "Technically, it's the _team's_ problem."

Sakura passed out on her couch.

* * *

Some time later when Naruto returned with a growling Sasuke in tow, Sakura was already seated primly at her thick oak table and calmly sipping her fourth espresso. Both boys, from what she could see, were dirty, breathing hard, pink-faced, and were content to leave their clothes messed. Naruto inattentively dumped Sasuke on the floor and said to Sakura with a roguish smile on his face, "Got him!"

"Get off me, you dumbass!" Sasuke snarled from his position on the floor. Though he was hidden from Sakura's view, she could guess Naruto had him pinned down with his foot. Naruto's face then twisted from the grin to an angry grimace and he nimbly jumped back a step as Sasuke stood up gracelessly. Sakura deduced he'd twisted Naruto's foot in a likely admirable effort to break his ankle.

She stood up from her chair and pushed it away from the table. "So," she asked, finishing her drink with a sip, "do you have it? Did you turn it in?"

Sasuke gifted her with an utterly blank stare before grunting, "Turn what in?"

Her patience, infamously thin, snapped. Taking a deep breath, she grounded out, "Last mission. Paperwork. Did. You. Turn. It. In?"

Sasuke continued with the almost lifeless stare for a few moments before replying, "Naruto was supposed to do it."

"_What_?" Naruto screeched, incensed. "We agreed you were going to, you lying, squinty bastard!"

Sakura took a moment to collect her sanity at the accusation of Sasuke being "squinty" before grabbing Naruto's collar and yanking him behind her. "Shut it," she commanded. "You didn't write it, did you?"

Naruto shook his head as best he could, being that he was hunched slightly to the side to accommodate Sakura's slighter height. "Kakashi-sensei told Sasuke-teme to write it," he grumbled, "I heard him."

"And I heard him tell you to write the mission report. Who cares?" Sasuke snapped. He was busy jerkily straightening his clothing, though his movements smoothed as he tended to his pants. Sakura watched with detached interest when he shot Naruto a menacing glare. Naruto blew a raspberry at him.

"Okay, children," she began wearily. "First off, I care about that mission report Sasuke, and so should you. Hokage's are anal about paperwork. It gets to their heads. So I recommend that we fix this little predicament as soon as possible. Agreed?"

Naruto had paled at the thought of an angry, anal Hokage, and Sasuke had lost most of the edge in his expression. Sakura allowed herself a moment of internal sadistic glee before asking again, loudly and pointedly, "_Agreed_?"

Both boys nodded and the kunoichi released Naruto's collar, which he reclaimed with a pout. Rolling her eyes, Sakura reached up to smooth the blonde's mussed up hair, and was intrigued to find Sasuke watching the action fixedly.

Filing it away in her extensive mental catalog, she lowered her hand and hopped to the window, calling "Let's go," over her shoulder.

* * *

Hatake Kakashi gave an impassive shrug when his three students cornered him for intense questioning in the middle of a bright hallway a ways from the office of the Hokage. (Naruto wanted to be as inconspicuous as possible)

"I didn't do it. I told one of you to compose the mission report," He explained idly as he lazily flipped open his constant companion in the form of his favorite book. Pushed to desperate measures, Sasuke snatched the porn from his ex-sensei's hand in the next second, earning himself a dark glower. Kakashi replaced him hands into his pockets and sighed. "Maa, if Sakura's received a message from our dearly beloved Hokage about the report, then we better take care of it."

He turned and began walking down the hallway. Sakura dragged Naruto and Sasuke behind her.

* * *

Sakura scraped her feet along the carpeted floor outside the Hokage's office and fidgeted. She, Naruto and Kakashi were sitting in stiff wooden chairs while Sasuke went to get something to drink. Vaguely, the chuunin remembered asking Tsunade why the chairs were so damn uncomfortable, and Tsunade making noise about some discipline crap that Sakura had subtly tuned out.

Bored and exasperated that the Hokage had a meeting to finish before she could meet with them, Sakura turned her attention to the conversation being held at hand. She regretted it.

"Hypothetically, though," Naruto was saying, "I think I'd much rather go fighting some evil jackass ninja; beats kicking it 'cause of old age or some disease that nobody will be able to recognize or remember because the word is too damn long."

"There are better ways to die," Sakura said pointedly. "For instance, I could kill you."

"I get the sad, sad feeling you're not being hypothetical," said Naruto.

"You'll get over it. You have other feelings," Kakashi intoned as he flipped a page of his reacquired novel.

Sakura was suddenly reminded why she usually went home when Kakashi and Naruto attempted to have philosophical conversations.

"Homicide isn't a long word," Sasuke offered.

* * *

A few minutes later Tsunade had come by and swept Naruto into her office, obviously choosing him to represent Team Seven, and therefore her victim. Sakura, admittedly relieved, gamely joined in on the other two males' conversation, (they needed all the help they could get) but grumpily turned away again when Kakashi began pestering Sasuke for information on the speech he and Naruto had apparently received from Genma about repressing teenage urges. Sakura didn't bother to restrain Sasuke when he socked Kakashi in the shoulder, regrettably missing his face.

* * *

The three looked up when Tsunade strode briskly out of her office down to the mission room. Naruto followed her, slouched and walking languidly. As he passed, he gave Sasuke a smoldering look through the strands of his golden bangs.

The door shut behind them.

Sasuke crossed his legs with an anguished expression. Sakura sniggered until she hacked up spit and Kakashi made a note on the back page of his book.

* * *

Sakura was in the middle of explaining Konoha's official procedures and guiding principles to Sasuke when the mission room door banged open, cutting her off and emitting Naruto, who energetically slammed it shut again, cutting off Tsunade's indignant scream. Before any of the curious (and impatient, in Sakura's case) onlookers could inquire for any information, Naruto strode over to Sasuke and, without preamble, plopped into his lap and proceeded to kiss him thoroughly.

Sakura observed them interestedly for a minute before making an impatient noise.

By then the blonde had a hand entangled in Sasuke's hair and the other kneading his backside. The two had the apparent appearance that they would have been quite happy to continue, but Sakura's annoyed bellow proved to be too hard to ignore. Not that Naruto didn't try.

With a wet smacking sound, Naruto unpeeled his lips from Sasuke's and ghosted his hands down to lightly massage his pectorals. Sasuke, for his part, kept his arms looped around Naruto's middle and glued uncharacteristic dreamy eyes to the blonde's face.

"Now that you've stopped sucking face," Sakura said, irritated, "would you mind telling the responsible adults in the hallway what's going on?"

Naruto shrugged lazily. "I took care of most of it; she just needed a reference and somebody to outline it for her. It was only B class so that helped. Tsunade just needs the mission report from your latest recon trip to Iwa."

Sakura blew out from her nose. "Damn," she muttered, "I guess I'll have to – Kakashi, turn that little hidden camera _off_ –" Kakashi did so with a disappointed expression, "start whipping that report up. Sasuke, if you could help me – "

Naruto's eyes flashed and Sasuke looked up, looking sincerely grief-stricken.

"Or _not_."

Sakura stomped off to the mission room.

* * *

_Fin._


End file.
